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3-the diary of an-6

 W

anxiety

arrior

REVELATION - I must become comfortable with being uncomfortable.

When I was a girl, I was spontaneous. I was a FREE spirit! I moved with the wind. I had ZERO anxiety and not an ounce of sadness what so ever.

Until age 22. That’s the year of change for me. That’s the year I began to overthink, worry, panic, become consumed with thoughts...the WHAT IF syndrome. That is the year of the beginning of a life journey filled with anxiety that eventually became anxiety disorders. I have been trying to discover the secret to GET OVER THE HANGUP of anxiety ever since.

Over the years, I’ve discovered things that have helped me to work THROUGH the feelings of anxiety and the symptoms that anxiety brings....But today! I believe today is the day I have had REVELATION about how to rid of anxiety disorders once and for all!!

This mornings meditation was on Proverbs 19:21 - “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” ‭ESV‬‬

As I was listening to the guided meditation, the guide spoke a quote by CS Lewis: “The true enjoyments must be spontaneous and compulsive and look to no remoter end.” wow, right?! This tells me that we MUST live in the moment in order to live a life of true enjoyment. If I am living in the moment, there is no time for me to worry about the future nor have regrets of the past.

Then my mind went to this thought —> that I must become comfortable with being uncomfortable. So I wrote that down.

After I was finished meditating, I decided to google that thought. I found a wonderful article in ‘Psychology Today’.. from a gal named Pamela Madsen. Feel free to read the article in its entirety here: Bit.ly/Pamelamadsenarticle

But this, I want to quote from her - that really stood out for me:

“When we step out, create change, move things around and set new rules for how we want to live, we do indeed become activists for our own lives. It's extraordinary work, and it does not come without feelings of discomfort.

And it's important to remember that every big experience forward is an "Expansion" in our lives. Expansions usually comes with an equally big "Contraction".

Pleasure and Pain are wedded to together, they help us experience each aspect of our lives fully. So it makes sense that if you are in a journey of self discovery, you will be riding a lot of emotional waves.

Try to make friends with your feelings. Know that you are the earth, and all of the emotions and uncomfortable feelings are simply passing weather. Take some shelter, but don't run away. Be in it and see what happens.”

I realized that this pretty much sums up how to conquer anxiety disorders once and for all.

To find that gal I was 22+ years and live spontaneously ... but also add in the spiritual wisdom I’ve gained to know that no matter how much overthinking I do - the result will still end with - Gods purpose through me will be. His will will be. I must just embrace the changes, the anxious feelings, the uncomfortable feeling of not being in control. Those feelings WILL pass, like the weather.

Because bottom line - I AM NOT in control... no matter how much control I think I have. And in those moments when those anxious feelings come.. you know, when I feel out of control —> I am correct!! I am out of control.

Listen - God allows it, or He stops it. In the end, He is ALWAYS in control - the good times and the bad. Even when I make poor decisions or when life is hard. There is a purpose for EVERYTHING. And we will not always understand WHY. In fact quite often we will never understand why... but we don’t have to. What would be an advantage for us to do is to trust God that He knows what He’s doing. That’s where we must arrive in order to overcome anxiety disorders once and for all.

Becoming comfortable (aka trusting God) while being uncomfortable (aka “WHAT IFS”, unknowns, future, in the moments, fears, “failures”, etc)... is going to be the key to ridding anxiety disorders once and for all.

Now, how to arrive there. 🤔 To be continued.