This is me at 15 and then me today...at age 45. But this post isn’t about what I look like.
This post is me sharing 6 things I would go back and tell my 15 year old self. With all the teenage suicide occurring, I realize that teenagers get stuck in the moment and think - this is it! The don't think beyond the moment they are in. I know I had moments where I thought that. It’s heartbreaking to see that so many do end it or think to end it all. My hope and prayer is that some young people see this post somehow - and accept these tips as truth for their lives. I have regrets, but when I say I wouldn’t change a thing about my life - I do mean it. If it weren’t for some of the poor decisions I’ve made, I wouldn’t have the treasures I have now.
Some treasures - my 2 amazing oldest boys, many nuggets of wisdom, some experiences I’ve made it through that enable me to relate to many and encourage them - always with ‘giving hope’ being the motive.
if time travel were a thing, I would take a time machine back 30 years...so I could tell my 15 year old self some words of wisdom to enable her to make better choices, and live her best life!!
I chose the age of 15 because that was a pivotal year in my life. Everything changed that summer before I turned 16. The summer brought me a moment which caused me to become shamed, insecure and feeling alone. And those feelings carried on for decades in my life... until I finally healed from the past.
So here we go...
1. IT TRULY DOES NOT MATTER WHAT THEY THINK!! ••••>Whether they think you are pretty or ugly, smart or dumb, fun or boring, goody goody or slutty, a winner or a loser... none of that matters. Some will think the best and some will think the worst and either way it does not matter. Their thoughts aren’t even necessarily the truth. What does matter - is what you think of yourself. Which leads to my next bit of advice for you...
2. GOD MADE YOU - YOU - FOR A REASON. ••••>He also made a specific plan for you that ONLY YOU can live out. Accept that you are special. Accept that you are unique. Not just because your momma tells you, but because it’s true!! Accept that your ‘different’ qualities are a good thing - not a thing that makes you ‘less than’ others. Your unique qualities just make you different than others... and that’s OK! QUIT trying to fit in, when you were made to stand out.
3. YOU CAN SAY NO!! AND - YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY! ••••>No is not a bad word. Saying no doesn’t make you mean. Sometimes no is the only answer that should be given. Quit saying yes just so you don’t hurt others feelings or so they will like and accept you! Believe it or not, you taking a stand - rather than giving in to others - will cause others to have more respect for you. They may not like it or you, they may even stop talking to you - but they will respect you whether they admit it or even know it or not.
4. TELL THE SECRET TO SOMEONE! ••••>Don’t keep it bottled up and hidden inside of you. It is going to eat at you and cause tremendous anxiety. You don’t need to feel ashamed. It wasn’t your fault!! Find a counselor to talk to about it so that you can work through that horrible thing that happened to you instead of sweeping it under the rug and pretending it doesn’t exist. HEAL AND RELEASE THYSELF!
5. THERE IS NO RUSH!! ••••>Enjoy each moment. STOP - and take time. You have GOT TO REST. Life isn’t about go-go-going all the time. Who cares about FOMO?! You likely aren’t missing a thing and even if you are - you don’t have to be a part of EVERYTHING. Take the pressure off yourself.
6. THIS ONE IS SO IMPORTANT!! LISTEN UP!! THIS MOMENT IS NOT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! ••••>This heartache, this embarrassment, this pressure, this stress, this uncomfortable feeling you have - WILL PASS! No, my dear, this is not the rest of your life. This is ONLY a moment in time. You will get through it.
I’m sure there is more I could say to her... but this that I have shared - would have made a tremendous difference in my life if I had known better.
I am hopeful that a teenager, who can relate, gets to read this and she takes this advice so that she can live life in peace, with freedom.
Or even a 40 year old woman who still feels the pain of her past...can take this advice now so that she can finally be free from her past and live her best life for the remainder of her life. 🌷